Applying to college is tiring. As you write each essay, you pour your soul out onto the keyboard, trying to give the admissions officers the biggest glimpse into your very self possible. You discover things about yourself, you type them out, you mold each paragraph, each sentence into its proper form, you put everything into that application... and then you do it nine more times. I don't know if I can take this. Even the simple question Why Us? evokes a groan from the depths of my soul. I think about how I answered that question for MIT, and I'll never be able to write another essay like that...but I have to. Each application must be my best application, otherwise how will I get in?
Maybe I only feel this way because I just struck the set of my last Fall Play, which was an emotional beating anyways. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like these essays are going to be a piece o' cake. Lord, I hope so.
Write thank yous to admissions officers you meet so they remember you! Or does that sound like I'm trying to "play a game"?
Email sports coaches so they might recommend you to the admission committee! Or do they see right through that and hate you for it?
I'm not really playing a game, I don't think -- I really do want to fence in college, I'm not just making it up. But I didn't have to email the guy. In fact, I only am because I read it in a book that it might help. Same thing for the thank yous-- I really am grateful, but I obviously didn't have to the send the notes...It makes sense to try to stand out, to place yourself out of the pack. Yet I also get so much advice to just fill out the applications as best you can, and not to do anything extra because that's insincere.
They say not to "package yourself", and I don't think I am... I think I'm just trying to fit all of my qualities on to the shelf, where they can be seen. But to do that requires a bit of arranging, a bit of effort. Again, so much advice is to just let it all come out naturally. Is it wrong, then, to do some random stuff to give yourself an edge? Or maybe not to get an edge, but to reveal the edge that was already there... but did I really have that edge? I DON'T KNOWWWWWW
Augh, I have no idea. My mother is usually so smart in these types of things, but she's been reading all these admissions books, and some of them seem to have fairly good advice, but they're so often ridiculed that it's hard to be sure. I know, I know, Be Yourself, Be Honest. But I also want to be the best I can be. Or am I just making excuses?
I am never going to get into college! Ohhh my goodddd...
You think I'm joking. You say, oh Kristin, you're overreacting. You'll get in somewhere... Well, yeah, I'll get into several colleges and stuff, but what happens if I don't like any of them? I'm so incredibly paranoid... I'm so far gone on MIT, what if all these colleges I thought I liked pale so much in comparison that I hate them all? What then? Do I apply to more places? What do I do? I think I like these schools... I mean, they seem cool... but... but...!!
And then living in a place for four years... And then never coming back home... And all the rejection letters I'm going to get! Where will I get in? Will my essays be good enough? Will it be enough to bare my soul? Do I really have to try to score points by playing a game? I know this isn't true at MIT, since they can can afford (both talent- and money-wise) to let in whoever they want, but what about other places? 3000 girls for 500 spots... Can I really beat out all those other people? So many brilliant, passionate people who love MIT are rejected every year... what separates me from those people? What did they do that I can avoid? Did they even do anything, or are the differences between the Tube and the Letter so small that it's almost random chance?
I'm in such a state of panic, and I have no idea where it came from. I haven't visited any of my schools yet, so I have no idea...and most of them I'm not visiting unless I get in...
I must convince myself! It must be TRUE that ALL of my schools are my absolute first choice. Which is part of my problem, I think... all but three of my schools are typical first-choice colleges, and the other three are pretty close. But only MIT is my real first choice! I don't stand a chance of getting into Rice, Duke, UChicago, etc, etc, etc, if I'm only lukewarm about them.
You know, a big part of getting into college seems to be just knowing how to play the game. Putting down a major you don't really want because it looks better, applying to a program because you get more money that way, writing your essay a certain way so admissions officers will notice you. It's pretty overwhelming, especially to someone who does not have the best poker face.
I had thought that I was going to play it straight - just lay my soul bare and hope it's good enough. But now, here I am, declaring myself "Electrical Engineering" at most schools, when just a few months ago I decided physics was my one true love. Even now, I'm not sure if I can really do it - will I be able to write about how much I love electrical engineering if I'm not even sure if I like it? That's just what I want to find out, though - where my interests lie: physics or engineering? I guess that's another angle to take... well, maybe playing the game won't be too impossible after all.
Good luck everyone on your AP Tests! I took the Lang & Comp test today, tomorrow I've got Spanish Language, and then Friday I have US History. And then I'll be free! Wahoo!
So a while ago I decided I didn't need any more target schools, that I'd just have one safety, one target, and 10000 reaches (well, more like 6). But now I'm starting to change my mind again. What if I don't get into any of my reaches, and I'm stuck with that one school? I really want to visit it, to make sure that I would definitely super-mega go there. It's Carnegie Mellon, and I really like it so far based on its website and such, but... waaaah, I'm nervous. Oh well. Que sera, sera, and all that.
So for AP tests you need lots of sleep, and I plan to do that! ...Even though I haven't studied. Whoops.
I have to take a science one because of MIT, which I had thought was no problem.
But it is.
See, I took chemistry last year, and you don't think about SAT IIs sophomore year, so I didn't take the chem one. This year I thought I'd take the physics one (since that's what I'm taking), but it turns out that my school doesn't teach us electromagnetism, waves, or optics, which collectively make up 45% of the test. I won't even get that stuff in AP next year. And I can't take biology, because I haven't taken that since freshman year... x__x I'm going insane.
It looks like I'll either have to learn half of physics on my own, or hope that two months of AP Chemistry next year is enough to prepare me for the Chem Subject test. Ugh.
So the lesson for today? TAKE SAT IIs EARLY! ;__;
My despair is lessened, though, by my awe-inspiring SAT I score. Well, it inspires awe in me anyway. 2340, people! Boo-yah!
There is a fantabulous thing on the internet, and it is called the Common Data Set. Basically it gives you almost all the statistics you would ever want to know about a college. Ever. I luff it because it keeps telling me that in almost all the schools I'm looking at, it's easier for girls to get in than guys! SWEET! This is probably because I'm applying to tech-like schools, but whatev. I AM A MINORITY! This is great! For instance: for the class of 2009, guys applying to MIT had a 12% percent chance of admission, girls had 27% chance!! Caltech boasts similar stats: 30% of their female applicants are accepted. At Carnegie Mellon, it's like 50%... the list goes on and on... W00T I'M SO EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
Here is a nice link to a post on the College Confidential boards listing the links to a bunch of different colleges' CDS sheets. It's pretty sweet. Now I just need the state-by-state info, and then I'll be AWESOME! Bwahaha!
Hmm...I have a slight dilemma. MIT is, of course, my dream school, so I have long planned to apply there Early Action. However, applying to a school Early Action usually does not help your chances any. They don't have any sort of guarantee that you'll go there, or that they're even your first choice. It's just basically turning in your application early. I've always thought that it also shows initiative, but... who knows.
Well, since MIT is my dream school, I obviously can't apply ED anywhere. However, I could apply to Yale Single Choice Early Action, or Standford SCEA. Even though it's not ED, so it doesn't guarantee I'll go, it indicates more of my interest than MIT's plain EA. However, what if MIT sees it? DILEMMA. It goes against my grain so much to kind of "play the system" like this. Apply somewhere SCEA when it's not really your first choice? Scandalous. I suppose I'll ask my college counselor, or something.
HEY! I've been looking at all of my different colleges, and the most that any of them requires is TWO! ZOMG, I'm so excited. I was in such a dilemma over what my third one was going to be... <3. I think I'll still take the Spanish one, though, because Duke likes it for placement, and I have a feeling that getting a 660 on the SAT Subject Test will be easier than getting a 5 on the AP Exam. Heh heh...
Well, actually, I have two targets. Except one's a state school, and I when I was younger and much more naive, I foolishly thought of state schools as t3h easy. *hangs head in shame* Now, I cannot shake this notion for this particular school...*headtable*
But I guess that two targets is perfectly fine. But I would like to find a school that I absolutely love that is still a target. Because I really am probably not going to get into any of my reaches. At least, I have to tell myself to think like that, otherwise I'll assume I'll get into everywhere, which is stupid. AUGH CURSE MY LACK OF ACADEMIC FAILURE. No wait, that sounded vain and pretentious. *brain asplodes*
It's also hard to determine if colleges are targets. If they're closer to being a reach, you don't want to overestimate your chances, and if they're closer to a safety, you feel tempted to just list it as a safety, rather than a target. I dunno.
Safeties are pretty easy to spot, but I'm having trouble finding one that I really like. I guess you're not really supposed to love your safeties, since they are somewhat like your last resorts... but on the other hand, you may end up going there, so shouldn't you love them? I've found some really cute places, but they're all in the middle of nowhere. I want to be on the eastern seaboard, darnit! Where la accion is! But all those schools are kind of competitive...*cries* Although, my mother is currently insisting that if I don't get into one of my reaches or targets, I go to a local private university. No offense, but I NEED TO GET AWAAAY. I don't care how good the university is, it's in my hometown, so I don't want to go. Location is a perfectly legitimate reason to reject a college; it's why I said bye-bye to half of the ones I've thought about.
I'm so bad - using this as a procrastination device. Man, I need some serious time management help.
It's nice to finally know what I am going to put on my college apps as my major. Some colleges don't need it, but most do, so...yes.
Ahh, physics. Not only is it SO COOL, but it is also very versatile...I could easily switch over into some engineering if I wanted to, since physics is quite related to practically any field of engineering. I could even go to medical school with a BS in physics, if I wanted. I mean, it gives me so much more freedom of choice! Plus it's about a hundred thousand kinds of awesome. So...yes.
...But that doesn't mean I no longer need a school with engineering! No sirree. Not only do I want to be able to switch over to engineering should I so choose, but good engineering school = good physics school! It just makes sense! YEAH PHYSICS!
Okay, this whole entry didn't make any sense. But, see, I was hanging out on the MIT Physics website, and I got so excited, and...
hungry